The Conflict Algorithm, Chapter 8
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Young Leo ended up seeing Jenny again. Initially he couldn’t imagine how he would arrange for another meeting, and skulking outside her house felt strange. Then one day he figured it out — the way in.
He gathered every scrap of courage he had and walked up to the door. He was already risking everything by going there. The worst that could happen was Jenny’s mom would tell him to leave. It was late afternoon, in the middle of his free window, but hopefully not too late to bother someone randomly at their home.
Jenny’s mom answered the door. He introduced himself and learned her name was Miss Debra Cotter. He told her where he lived. She let him in.
That was the first of many afternoon play dates at the Cotter’s. He’d sit with Jenny on the living room floor of the spacious house and watch things on TV he couldn’t at home. Non-educational shows were banned in his house and TV was limited to one hour a day. Sometimes they ate Cap’n Crunch or stuff Miss Cotter would make.
He felt a total camaraderie with Jenny because she didn’t have a dad either. Hers had died in the Iraq war, and he had no idea where his was.
From Jenny he learned how people talked about his commune. They said it was a cult. They thought his group was full of crazies. He tried to explain the whole thing to her, but he didn’t really understand it that well. Every time she asked a question, he would find the pre-programmed logic unraveling in his brain.
Why are we the chosen ones? How do I know there is a God? What does he look like? How do I know what happens when we die?
He never got busted for his trips off the commune. He only ever got caught wandering in the woods, and there were periods he was banned from going off on his own. Still, he remained friends with Jenny until they were 15. Jenny told him she had a boyfriend at school and that she wasn’t sure he should come over.
Leo was devastated. In his experience, when kids paired up, they were destined for marriage. He thought he would never see her again. They argued, and it was mean and ugly. Leo left that day and trudged through the woods carrying a burden heavier than his little heart could take.
Things changed for him in the commune. Where he was sweet and nice before, he became sarcastic and cynical. He was ready to fight. He’d also grown to about the same size as Theo and Scott. Together they ganged up on the younger boys and teased the girls mercilessly. They brought back weed and cigarettes and beer and acted like jerks.
It was around then he realized that Theo and Scott had been allowed to go off the commune for years. One day, they took him off the commune grounds to a party. Leo found out that they had a family house off the commune grounds, that each of the brothers had matching convertible corvettes. Theo’s was red, and Scott’s was blue. Leo’s mom had given up all her possessions, was stuck on the commune, and the incongruity of the brothers’ obvious wealth and freedom baffled Leo.
Leo rode with Scott as they tore through the back roads. Scott followed Theo’s psychotic driving. The music was blaring. Scott favored death metal. Leo felt a thrill he’d never experienced. It made him feel a bit guilty and so happy to be alive. They pulled up to the party, a fairly standard McMansion, but the largest house Leo had ever seen.
The brothers were well known. Leo couldn’t understand how this was possible. Not only were they well known, they seemed important. Both brothers merged into clumps of people. The noise was exceptional. Leo felt awkward and somewhat out-of-place, very uncool. Grabbing a beer would help.
Beer in hand, he decided to find a quiet place to sort of sit by himself when he rounded a corner and found Theo making out with a redheaded girl.
There were no redheads in the commune. Leo’s stomach turned with the thought that this was Jenny. He stood there staring, like he had done all those years ago at her window. She took a breath and Theo eased his grip on the back of her neck. She looked up and saw Leo standing there. His face crinkled like his nose was trying to eat his mouth.
He almost shook with a flash of terror that she would tell Theo about him knowing her. It would all be over then. He just had to play it cool. Let her know that whatever she did was her own choice and that he didn’t have any hard feelings.
But Theo turned and saw Leo staring, quickly stepped behind Jenny and wrapped his arms around her midsection. Theo lifted Jenny’s shirt and flashed Leo with a glimpse of her white, lacy bra. Jenny laughed it off and twisted out of his grip. Leo’s throat tried to turn inside out. He recovered ungracefully by giving them a noncommittal nod and wandering away. He decided to avoid her at the party at all costs.
She found him anyway, later that night, sitting on the rear deck. He assumed she had just come from fucking Theo. The party had thinned out to those who wanted to have sex or were somewhere too high to move. She approached him with hands on her hips, “So how are you?”
He wanted to grab her and take her out of there. He wanted to puke. “I’m good. How’re you? How’s your mom?”
“She still talks about you.”
Leo looked away. “This is so fucked up.”
“Tell me about it, your friend is into some real kinky shit.”
“Aaaaaaaah! I don’t want to hear about that!”
“Okay!”
“I really liked you.”
“You’re a sweet guy, Leo.” Jenny walked over to him slowly. “Don’t change.”
He imagined her shirt was invisible. His head was full of all the unfulfilled fantasies he had of her. He could smell her smell, and maybe Theo’s scent in the mix, too. His nervous system tried to sabotage itself. Breathing, heartbeat, and the imperative to not look like a dork were all at odds.
For each fantasy he held, Leo pictured Theo enacting it with Jenny. His spiraling despair must have shown on his face.
“Let me tell you about your friends, Leo. They’re a bunch of evil, fucked-up, twisted shits.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t. You don’t know what he does to me.”
“Oh, God. Come on, Jenny. Fuck!”
“And what he makes me do.”
Leo knew that Theo was obsessed with the Story of O, and had been developing his sadism. The idea of Jenny being worked that way made his neck flop. He closed his eyes.
“He said all the women in your thing are trained in it.”
Just leave, Leo told himself. Just get up and leave. And go where?
“Your mom, Leo. Your mom and the pastor, and all the men.”
Tears worked their way out the corner of Leo’s tightly closed eyes. Things would have to change.
Theo walked out on the deck, eating a sandwich, and looked at the two of them. “What the fuck is going on here?”
